“a somewhat unusual view of the world”
Posted in Family humor, It's a strange planet, Men and Women - 'the great divide', Uncategorized on Jun 12th, 2010
My wife got lost the other day.
I was at work when I got a call from her.
My wife: “I am lost. I am at the Sportsplex.”
Me: “If you know where you are, then technically you are not lost.”
My wife: “I mean I can’t find the store I was going too in the industrial park.”
At this [...]
Posted in Family humor, Men and Women - 'the great divide', Uncategorized on May 14th, 2010
One of my friends confided in me, that she went on a spaz the other day.
They have a home gym in their basement. She went down to do some weights and found that the kids and her husband had been messing with the gear. She was having one of those days and she lost it [...]
Posted in Family humor, Men and Women - 'the great divide', Uncategorized on May 7th, 2010
My wife hauled me off to the Gap the other day.
“Look I have a ‘Friends and Family’ card -30% off! You could use some fashionable jeans.”
My wife likes to save money by spending money. If that seems counter intuitive then you are a male.
I was in the dressing room trying on jeans when I [...]
Posted in It's a strange planet, Men and Women - 'the great divide', Uncategorized on Apr 23rd, 2010
I have been dieting the last four weeks.
Things have gone quite well and I have trimmed up considerably.
A few years ago I did Weight Watchers. Every week, we had a meeting where we discussed how things went, and got psyched up.
Instructor: “How did people do last week?”
Female: “It didn’t go that [...]
Posted in Christmass holidays, Men and Women - 'the great divide', Uncategorized on Dec 3rd, 2009
Every so often, I like to write a column in which I can offer assistance to people through my vast knowledge of humanity.
Now Christmas shopping can be stressful, especially when buying for a loved one. Let’s face it, the typical male is personally responsible for buying for only one person: his wife or girlfriend [...]
Posted in Family humor, It's a strange planet, Men and Women - 'the great divide', Uncategorized on Aug 21st, 2009
My wife belongs to a book club:
My wife: “Hi just calling to let you know that I am going to the book club straight after work.”
Me: “Uhmm I thought you didn’t have time to read the book.”
My wife: “Yeah, a lot of people didn’t so they said we could go this one time without reading [...]
Posted in It's a strange planet, Men and Women - 'the great divide', Uncategorized on Jun 5th, 2009
Note: This week I am posting a column I actually wrote last year.
I don’t normally do that but it’s been a rough week. I am so personally distraught over this Jon and Kate plus 8 thing that I can’t concentrate. (Or maybe it was my birthday and I felt like a break.)
By the way [...]
Posted in Family humor, It's a strange planet, Men and Women - 'the great divide', Uncategorized on May 14th, 2009
My wife is a big Grey’s Anatomy fan. Accordingly she really wanted to watch the season finale – obviously.
She asked a simple favor of me.
My wife: “Can you keep things under control so I can watch my show?”
Me: “No problem. What’s this ‘under control thing’ that you are talking about?
Now, as you might surmise, [...]
Posted in It's a strange planet, Men and Women - 'the great divide', Uncategorized on Mar 5th, 2009
Dear reader: Every so often I like to reprint one of my classics. Like when the stars line up so that somehting really dumb happens on the TV show ‘The Bachelor’, I am busy working on my income tax and I just happen to have written a column making fun of that same show. Go [...]
Posted in Family humor, Men and Women - 'the great divide', Uncategorized, Valentines on Feb 12th, 2009
One of my friends commented the other day, that she was disappointed in me because my last column, ‘Valentine’s a precious occasion’, was an old article.
Her: “You said you printed it because you were too lazy to write a new one. I am disappointed. I think you should have written a new article.”
Me: “There [...]